I’m crying alone in my room right night just like when we met, you stole my heart back then and that made me happy but now I feel like you just robbed me of any love I felt. My blood is boiling like lava and it’s melting my heart as it flows through my veins but yet it feels cold like plasma because without you… my heart is just like Antarctica.
You make me lost, scared and saddened.. without you I have no compass to tell me which direction to head, without you.. I’m free to throw my life away because I have nothing left to fear except eternity without you.. you make me saddened that the love I thought you felt for me could be so easily turned off like a light switch.
I’m sorry for saying that I would kill myself but I can’t because I’m not as strong as some people, I don’t have the willpower to end my suffering. Maybe one day, I will be sitting alone in this room just like I am now in perhaps 5 -10 years and I’ll finally end it just because the thought of you with someone else will cut me deeper than you have cut me right now.
My heart is already leaking tears from my eyes, you thrust a katana through my chest with no mercy or regret. Now the lava is running down my face like the blood circulating inside me and it burns me with such pain that now I know this Earth is hell.
I always seen the light inside you but now I see darkness extinguish you. You leave me here alone, thinking false thoughts about me. I see now that the devil has a greater hold over you than me.Your mind is filled with delusions and false information. If only you could into my soul, then you could see the love blossoming which now you make wither like dying flowers in the winter because you were my sun… and now you cast me out of your solar system into the unknown depths of space.
What is this pain, what is this suffering?
You made me feel love for the first time in my life which felt amazing but now you make me feel pain more realistic than anything else I’ve ever endured. I feel the urge to hurt myself, to cut my body so that the ache inside me will stop.. so that the ache you caused with your katana will be alleviated.
I don’t know what I have left when you’re removed from the equation. I have nothing but this loneliness and hatred for myself. You’re all I ever had but you were all I ever needed.
Change is such a bitter thing, you made me feel like a butterfly but I guess all dreams must come to an end eventually… I’m not beautiful like you said, I’m just a Caterpillar who wished he could be something better.
I feel so depressed, I wish that I could die right now. I have nothing else to live for but you already know that and yet you still didn’t even try to understand me.
I tried to be good, I tried to be worthy, I tried to be nice and think in the best way I know how. I promised you that I never liked or wanted anyone else but you couldn’t believe me and your forgiveness was a false gesture. Your forgiveness was just a way to make yourself feel better while I feel worse because as much as you hate me, no one hates me as much as myself.
I love you so much and I only ever wanted you to believe it and see that the love inside me was worth the time and effort. The time I spent with you has been the best times of my life and I feel so hurt without you.
I feel so hurt when you compare me or disrespect me. I feel unloved and damaged when you cuss at me and accuse me of things I never did or things which were entirely innocent.
I hope you finally know just how much I love you because If I didn’t then believe me… I wouldn’t be so upset when you act like you don’t…
I’m in love with you♥